How to get up and battle the stress is a never-ending question. Especially at this time of year as a student. But the more we focus on the time of year the more we realise that the stress is constant, it just gets focused on a different area of education. At the start of the academic year, everyone says that it’s 'because' you have advanced academic years. In January, the stress is ‘because’ of the new year and possible exams. In Feb and March, it's ‘because’ of the realisation that the year is coming to an end meaning it's time to figure out what to do next or how to make the most of the summer holidays. In April and May it’s ‘because’ of dissertations and exams. In June and July, it’s 'because' of the dreaded wait for your results. This never-ending question goes hand in hand with the never-ending stress that comes with being a student.
Does it ever end?
Will getting a job make it any better?
And the biggest statement heard is, ‘It's fine I’m used to it’
‘I’m used to it’. The strongest statement to show how crazy this education system is. Being ‘used’ to stress is not normal. It is not normal for your body to be in a constant state of stress. Being ‘used’ to it means that you don't deal with the stressuntil it gets worse. We get so used to the stress of being a student, especially past the age of 16 because at that point it feels like every grade will change the course of your future. I am very much this type of person.
I don't deal with my stress daily because it's such specific stress, stress from assignments or exams. To me combating it just means finishing those tasks. The tasks are completed but then it turns into stress for the results. But this stress sonormal for students why would I think anything more about it? And I dont think anything more of it, until that stress gets paralytic almost because the tasks I am stressing about determine my future. Currently, I'm working on my final year dissertation and exams. These last four tasks in my university life will single-handedly determine if I get into my master'scourse or not. Causing the normal level of stress to get exaggerated so much more. I'm starting to realise that if I found a healthier or simpler way to deal with stress at the start of university I wouldn’t be in this situation.
I'm the type of person to not listen to my stress levels until it gets to a point where I feel like I can't do anything, not a good strategy. Especially because for me stress and anxiety go hand-in-hand. This makes it so much worse because I end up spending more time stressing out than doing my work. This is because in education my focus is my grades and getting those good grades in First or Second year would relieve the stress. This becomes a very vicious cycle because the few bad grades I get then exaggerate the stress, and it stays at that new level. Having this type of reward system at this point in my education is very much counterproductive. And I know I'm not the only one who has wired their brain this way.
I was talking to a friend recently and he said ‘Everything will work out even if it isn't the way we imagine it right now’ which is something we always think about to make ourselves feel more relaxed. But what stuck out to me was when he went on to say that ‘stressing over this shit is dead, and I'm over it’. And honestly me too. I am so sick of life right now being determined by my stressing over exams and grades. If I don't get the grades for the course I know there are other things I can do. But why does that not change anything? Every time I talk to my friends about their exams we all come to the same conclusion, ' I'm over it’.
Does being ‘over it’ actually help though? No. It’s never going to change the fact that we are wired to get good grades to move forward with our careers. It’s not going to change the fact that we want those good grades. But what can change is knowing how to have a stress reliever that isn't related to those grades and their meaning.
As a girl who got diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD very late in life this stress so much more because I am still not sure what my best learning method is. Trying to figure this out while being in university isn't easy. I got diagnosed with dyslexia at 17 but this was also just before COVID so I didn't get a chance to experiment with learning methods in school since school was online. COVID ended just before my A-Level exams which just meant that I had to stick with what I know best. But is what I know best, actually the best? Definitely not, but it's all I know. Then moving into university you have all these self-study hours and are teaching yourself what you need to know. I got thrown into the deep end without any floaters, I had to swim my way to the top, in terms of how to teach myself. As I thought I figured it out, the content would get harder and the grades would be more difficult to achieve. I know how to battle my ADHD, at least my physical ADHD. One thing they don't tell you though, is that ADHD in females is much more internal than it is external. I had to learn that through experience and my classes. So when I get stressed about exams I don't focus on learning in a way which is efficient for me, I go back to what I know and was taught in school to ‘just make notes’. Which is a completely useless way to revise.
The education shift between sixth form and university is something no one can prepare you for. But I wish they did. It would reduce stress for students all around. In sixth form you have teachers to hold your hand and guide you through the content. In university, you are doing this yourself. You are holding your hand and guiding yourself through everything new you are learning.
No wonder we are all stressed out. We are teaching ourselves everything we need to know. But it is okay right because‘we are used to it’?
Till my next post lovelies x